I don’t need your love… I just need you.

Not too long ago I asked God to show me how to truly love you. To love you like you deserve. To cherish and honor like I have not before, but like I want to. His answer…

Love her without consideration for whether or not she loves you back.  Love her even if every single day for the rest of your lives she abhors you, and you don’t care.  Love her even if she berates and bemoans you, and then love her more.

And if she screams at you with wails from hell…  Love her peacefully.

And if her anger is only quenched by rivers flowing down your cheeks… Love her calmly.

And if she burns like a galaxy full of stars, her fury as white and hot as a flame too hot for it’s own good, a flame so hot it consumes itself while burning…  Love her purely.

And if she withholds all touch, whether delicate as if gently grasping an egg, or sensual as if burning with desire…  Love her longingly.

And if her eyes strike venomously with every glance…  And if they inject their crippling poisons until you can barely look at her…  Love her adoringly.

And if all the excitement and life are drained from her eyes…  Love her passionately.

And if she chooses to hate you…  Love her with persistence.

And if she harbors bitterness like a dangerous cape…  Set your anchor down and love her solidly.

And if she never gives you a single smile to wet your appetite.  If she never shows the joy  you know is inside of her heart…  Give every effort to make her smile and love her happily.

And if she is lethargic to you…  Love her excitedly.

And if she is resentful…  Love her gracefully.

And if she hates you…  Just love.

Love her like it’s the only thing you know how to do.  Love her as if your existence, your entire being, is meant solely to serve her with gratitude and thanksgiving, even if God is the only one who sees it.

I don’t need your love…  Give me the hope of a single smile…

Look at me with fury in your eyes…  I’m content to memorize the colors.

Love me poorly and I will love you richly.

Look at me with bitterness and hatred and malice and resentment in your heart…  I’m content because I still get to see your heart.

Give me your numb heart and I will make it feel for me again.  Give me your tired heart and I will bring it to life like it’s never known.  Give me your broken heart and I will painstakingly piece it back together, stronger.  And if all this has already happened, I will watch over it and protect it for as long as we both shall live.

“Love me or hate me, both are in my favor…  If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart.  If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind.” ~ Shakespeare

I asked God to show my how to truly love you. He said… Try to love her more than I do. 


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